Have you ever felt strange and hugely affected after ONE PARTICULAR unexpected incident that occurred out of the blue? Something that was so unexpected that it caused you to continuously ponder upon yourself, your health, your family and your well being. Well, mine just happened about three days ago...
It was on a Monday morning. And it was on the 10th day of Syawal, when everybody was still in the colourful mood of Eid ul Fitri.
I received a phone call early in the morning from an irregular caller - a College friend of mine, Adri, who hardly ever calls, unless he was inviting me for a Game of Futsal (which only happened once in a blue moon) or an Open House (which for all I know, in his capacity, has always been a yearly affair). It struck me as a surprise initially. So when I returned his call, indeed he was inviting me for an Open House on Saturday (as expected).
But another news took me mild by surprise.
An old College friend of mine had just passed away in his sleep that morning. An old classmate, as a matter of fact, who I last met during the SPM Results in 1994.
Such a sad demise. Missing an old colleague in such a manner. Such a tragic incident that must have befallen his beloved family (of a wife and 4 kids). How would she (the wife) have felt at the point of his passing? How would she take it from this point onwards? How would the bigger kids bear the fact of life without the father? I imagined those as I imagined myself in his shoes, leaving my lovely wife, Aidee, and my son, Adam... should God decide to take my life away.
The truth of the matter is, that incident, although I was not in town to witness it, altered my perception of life. Initially it became quite a nightmare for me to bear, having had troubles in closing my eyes to sleep wondering what would happen to me when I wake up the next morning. And when I did wake up, I would always be covered with sweat. Feeling and breathing a sigh of relief. Thanking God as ever for allowing me an additional day to live, and be with my beloved ones. It was indeed tumultuos and hazardous knowing that such a friend, of the same age (and all fit and healthy) could just leave you within seconds.
Nevertheless, later, that similar incident became a catalyst for my wanting to get things done before I die. It sort of pushes me to the brink of wanting to ensure that should I go without a warning, my family would be safe, secured and comfortable with what I had left them with. And should I depart, there would be much of me left as part of my legacy, if not for others to follow, at least for others to remember and treasure.
I realized my life, though as colourful as I thought it was, may not mount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. But at the very least, I strongly believe that whatever we do affects other people in a certain kind of way. If not much, at least a little.
Bit by bit, I am convinced that all of us has a fair share on this earth, a role to play, knowledge to impart, experience to share, and thoughts to express. It is just a matter of magnitude and circumstances.
This is my life. This is my forte. And this is my expression...
